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"I am looking for a unique gift for a special someone."“I see, sir. I think I may have what you are looking for.”Following her, I notice a sign that reads, "Potion".“Here, sir, I guarantee this will entice any woman.”“H...how did you know?”“By your reaction when you asked, sir.”I feel my face turning red once again.“It’s okay, most men who come in are looking for the same thing and a few women too.”As I pay for the potion, the sales girl suggests, "Sprinkle a little of the potion on a mistletoe. It is more effective that way for this time of year."“Thank you and a Merry Christmas, miss.”Arriving home, I walk into the kitchen and my wife asks, "What did you buy, dear?"You will have to wait until Christmas, Mandy," I tell her as I head to the basement to wrap her gifts.As I wrap the gifts, I tuck the bottle of potion in my golf bag. I tell myself, "I really hope this works."I hang the mistletoe next to the leather recliner.“Honey, are you just about done?”My wife's voice snaps me back. We left that an hour ago."And the Number : 1 ... Best Caddy Comment:Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."Bonus...An old favorite ... About the Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole...He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy...Golfer: "Can you see any obvious problems... ?"Caddy: "There's a piece of shit on the end of your club."Golfer: He picks up his club up and says, "I don't see anything."Caddy: "Other end."Don't look down on anyone unless you are helping them up...This one is compliments of Chuck ... With thanksThe ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPERTwo Different Versions...Two Different MoralsOLD VERSION :The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out.
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